Bar Mezzanotte in Rome- Ep 02 | Love in the Times of A Pandemic Podcast
Love in The Times of a Pandemic is a weekly podcast by Fuerteventura Times airing every Saturday night, May 2020 onwards, where the sound artist and writer Akanksha Krishnani takes us through a musical storytelling experience narrating memoirs of falling in and out of love, of remembering someone when locked down to even rethinking togetherness with those currently homebound.
Read about the initiative and the story behind this podcast here.
” Dear Mauro,
How are you? It’s been 6 months since you left I know we decided not to talk for a while, but I had to check on you in these unprecedented times, I also wanted to just tell you a bit about the avalanche of emotions I have kept hidden from you since you left. I recently moved to Bilbao for a project, I had a flatmate but when they announced the lockdown in Spain she flew back home to San-Sebastian. Hence, I am quarantining alone, there are pros and cons to that.
I’ve formed a schedule to battle my anxiety. I wake up, do yoga, cook, log in to my Zoom meetings, work on my projects, write, watch series, rant with my friends on group chats, share silly memes, cry about this apocalypse, read some devastating news on twitter, feel bad, feel anxious and go off to sleep.
It’s been two weeks now, and I wish I had a partner during this confinement. I know that I can’t possibly go on a tinder date to satisfy my craving, neither do I have any dial an emergency person in my building since I am so new, besides I am quite paranoid about sleeping with strangers in times of COVID-19, you don’t know who’s been where, touched what. I am sorry, but you know how paranoid I get.
So I start searching for you on Facebook, no results. Instagram, no results. I knew we had a lot in common I mean we dated for a while, but I didn’t know you had quit social media like me too. Takes me back to the last day we were together, it was 10 am you had got me coffee in bed and broke the news about you getting accepted into Google and considering the option of moving to San Francisco. I was so so happy for you but a part of me felt stabbed I can’t explain the numbness I felt at the thought of you getting far away from me. But it had to be done, your talent and expertise would have and has made Google so much more valuable than they were before that I am sure of. But I miss you, I know we decided collectively to not pursue a long-distance relationship San Francisco- Rome would have never worked or at least that’s what we thought but I am allowed to think about you right?
After washing my hands for the 4th time, I start rummaging the whole of google until I finally found your super crisp Linkedin picture. Your usual oval-shaped frames on your perfectly sculpted face. Damn You look good, you’ve always looked good, but in this red tie mamma mia Mauro, its also got a nice tech crunch profile vibe to it. Arghhh this picture is making me want to teleport to wherever you are in San Francisco right now. I am so glad to see you got promoted to senior development engineer. You deserve every bit of all the success, I have never met a man who is so dedicated, encouraging, and empowering like you, you remember the start-up you pushed me to pursue? It finally got funded too, I am going to continue working on that after this Bilbao project. All thanks to you, you gave me the courage I never had, you pushed me, inspired me and loved me yet never took any credit ay Maurito.
I see you have the same smile, the smile that that had made me so weak in my knees, especially when your lips twitched to the right into those accurately rounded hollow dimples. Hold on, I just have to untie my pajamas very quickly and embark on my sacred pilgrimage gawking at your LinkedIn image. My finger starts crawling in, maintaining my stance with you I dig deeper and start seeing, flashes of you come up telling me ‘You are always beautiful, let your hair be down and messy like that’ ‘I love your freckles more’ ‘Your love makes me stronger.’ All those lines you whispered to me before we went to bed comes thundering down at me. And down here there is a thunderstorm at work, I feel like I am playing a game of Taekwondo in my genitalia were, all my finger kicks aimed in all the designated targets are just making me reach places you took me every night for those blissful 8 months in Rome. I arrive for the third time and I finally pause. I am sorry if I have revealed too many graphic details here haha but for once I just didn’t want to hold myself back and be logical and grown-up like you asked me to be when we broke up.
I know we both loved each other, I know that I would have never stood in the way of your dreams but always wish for all your dreams to come true. But, as I sit alone in confinement today can I just ask a wish for me too? I really wish for us to see each other once this pandemic is over, not as lovers whose story didn’t reach a happy ending because of the miles in between but as those two strangers who first met at the ‘Mezzo Notte Bar’ in the tiniest street of Rome 2 years back, where there was no one at 1 am but you sitting alone and me entering alone a(me a bit tipsy though). I don’t know if I believe in destiny but our meeting at Mezzo notte that night was meant to be. I want to replicate that moment and see you there again this summer. Will you come and see me?
I hope you are fine, I have been reading about the rising cases in America. Please take care and stay safe.
Been thinking of you secretly every day since the past 6 months but just kept it all to myself coz I didn’t want to look like the obsessive crazy ex, even though I might have reiterated myself now.
Love in Times of a Pandemicis a heartwarming Weekly podcast streaming every Saturday where the ultra-talented sound artist and art curator Akanksha Krishnani takes us through a musical storytelling experience in her unique way, narrating some of most thought-provoking love stories experienced during a global lockdown.
Stories of falling in and out of love, anecdotes of remembering someone when locked down to even rethinking togetherness with those currently homebound.
In an ode to love and all the complex emotions experienced during this collective global pause, Fuerteventura Times brings you a special podcast series to celebrate this much-needed global emotion called LOVE.
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